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Funny
Jokes > Bar jokes - Random
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10/29/2009 03:51 AM
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Signs That You are Too Drunk
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You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Your job is interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.
Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
You sincere read more »
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02/21/2010 04:15 AM
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Stages of Drunkeness
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0 - Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as an army bayonet.
1 - Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 - Lager warming up head. Pretzles are ordered. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 - Crossword in newspaper is filled in. After a while blanks are filled with random letters and numbers.
4 - Barmaid complimented on choice of bra. read more »
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02/26/2008 02:04 AM
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What woman wants...
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Husband came back drunk. Next morning he woke up with a mess in the house and saw a note from his wife:
- Dear Honey, Out for shopping, will be back soon. Love, Pumkin...
He could not remember and understand anything, so he asked his son:
- Son, what happened? What have I done yesterday night?
- You were drunk and had a quarrel with mama, crashed everything around
and shited on the toilet floor. When she decided to clean you up by
taking off your pants, you shouted: Don't even dare! I am married! read more »
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09/26/2009 03:44 AM
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Drunk Driver 2
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A man stumbles out of a bar one night obviously drunk.
He makes his way down the street knocking into everything in his path.
A police officer watches him from a cruiser across the street.
The man comes up to a parked car, fumbles around in his pockets, gets his keys, and proceeds to drive away.
The police officer, unbelieving what he saw, pulls the man over a f read more »
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11/13/2010 05:48 PM
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Blind Man In Bar
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A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting read more »
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