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Funny Jokes > Lawyer jokes - Random

02/12/2010 03:50 PM
Lying Lawyer
How can you tell when a lawyer is about to lie?

His lips start moving.
03/31/2008 07:59 PM
The Priest, Policeman & Lawyer

The miser knew he was dying and he wanted to take his $30,000 life savings with him when he passes away.

He summoned his 3 friends to his bedside. He knew he could trust them, but not completely as to entrust the entire sum to any one of them. So he split the savings amongst the 3 of them, $10,000 each, with instructions that they should put the money into his coffin when he was being buried. The 3 men, a priest, a policeman, and a lawyer, solemly agreed to do so.

The miser, was then relieved, he knew that they would do as he bidded, or at least one of them would, and he would have his money even when he has died.

Soon he passed away.

After the miser was buried, the 3 men stood together and looked at the ground.
The priest said, "I have a confession to make, you know the $10,000, I think it is a waste to put all that money into the coffin, so I took $1,000 and put the rest into the coffin."

The policeman said shamefully, "I too thought the same way, but I took $5,000 and put the rest into the coffin."

The lawyer declared, "I am ashamed of the two of you."  read more »


06/30/2009 06:01 AM
Billing
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawy  read more »
07/23/2009 04:14 AM
Smartest Man in the World
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.  read more »
12/23/2009 05:55 PM
At The Pearly Gates
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg?  read more »